“I do not know an action which can get one close to Allah than kind treatment to the mother.”
How does one open the door to Paradise on this earth? The Arabic word for womb is ra-him. One of Allah’s names is Ar-Raheem, the Most Merciful. There is a parallel between Allah and the womb. Through the womb, we get a preview of the Almighty’s qualities and attributes as the womb nurtures, feeds, and shelters us in the early stages of life.
The womb can be viewed as one expression of divinity in the world. Your mother is your ra-him, your link and connection to the Divine, so stand firm by her feet as the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him has said, “Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother.” [1]
We have all heard the hadith where a man asked the Prophet, “Whom should I honor most after you”? The Prophet replied, “your mother” three times before saying “your father” [2]. In other words, 75% of your honor goes to your mother and 25% to your father. In Olympic terms, your mother has earned all the medals, gold, silver, and bronze and your father gets honorable mentions.
Allah says in the Quran: “We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth.” [3] Notice the wording of Allah. He states that we should show kindness to both parents but stressed on the hardship that the mother had to endure, not in just one instance, but two. A mother warrants service, love, submission, obedience, and gratitude from the child because a mother generally makes more sacrifices and endures greater hardships bringing up the children.
Can you imagine the pain of childbirth? You have a broken arm and you take a few weeks off to recover. A mother, after delivering, needs to feed, work, and begin this journey after intense labor with no vacation, no sick days, sacrificing her comforts in the day and rest at night without any greed or compulsion but only out of the pure, lifelong love and affection that she has for this child.
A person came to Prophet Muhammad and complained that his mother was ill tempered. The Messenger said, “She was not ill tempered when she kept you in her womb for nine months and she was not ill-tempered when she used to keep awake the whole night for your sake and feed you.” The man replied by saying, “I have reimbursed all these favors of my mother. I have helped her perform hajj by putting her on my shoulders”. The Prophet then stated, “Can you also return the painful pains which your mother had at the time of your birth?” [4]
Who came to the call of your cry in the middle of the night when you could not sooth yourself? Who made sure you were fed when you did not know how to feed yourself? Who cleaned you when you could not clean yourself? There is a video online showing a man, paralyzed, speaking to a group of healthy men. To him in his case, his mother is his hands, his eyes, his legs, everything to him as she takes care of him. He is not even able to use the bathroom without the help of his mother. He asks a question as the men burst into tears, “When was the last time that you hugged your mother, for I want to do my mother justice but due to my situation I am unable”.
We all want to get close to Allah. A man killed a women because she rejected his marriage proposal and he sought advice with the cousin of the Prophet Muhammad, Ibn Abbas, and asked “Is there any room for me to repent?” Ibn Abbas asked if his mother was still alive and when the man replied that she had passed, Ibn Abbas suggested to repent to Allah and do good deeds to get close to Him. The student that was with Ibn Abbas asked why he asked this question about the mother being alive in which Ibn Abbas replies with something so heart jerking: “I do not know an action which can get one close to Allah than kind treatment to the mother.” [5]
It is time we honor our mother. It is time we try to strive to unlock that door to paradise which is beneath her feet. Never abandon her as she has never abandoned you. Never did she ask for a salary from you. Never did she say, “I do not feel like taking care of you today”. Never did she stop worrying about when you left the house and waited for you to come home. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.
Let’s speak with our mothers with patience like they did when we would badger them when we were children that wanted things. Let’s clean the house and cook for them without asking, the way they did for us as we grew up. Let’s surprise them with cherished moments and shower them with gifts like they did for us in our childhood. Let’s lower the wing of humility and ask Allah by saying, every chance that we get, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.” [6] May Allah make us good sons and daughters and grant us good sons and daughters and grant our parents Jannah.
Resources
1) Sunan al-Nasā’ī 3104.
2) Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5626, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2548.
3) Surah 46:15.
5) al-Adab al-Mufrad 4.
6) Surah 17:24.